Very expensive ham

Small packet of ham

Yesterday I went into one of the major supermarkets in Foligno and bought, over the delicatessen counter, 2 ‘etti’ (one fifth of a kilogram) of their most economical cooked ham.

The girl who served me put the label that came out of the weighing machine to one  side, and stuck another label on my packet. She made a slight flutter as if correcting a mistake, and I thought nothing of it.

Today, Clive noticed the rather bizarre price of €12.50 on the very small parcel of ham. The label had neither product name, nor purchase weight, nor weight per kilogram. The price had been ‘manually imposed’. My till receipt confirmed that I had indeed paid €12.50 for the item.

I phoned the supermarket and asked to speak to a manager.

“What’s it about?” asked the man who answered.

“A complaint. Well, a mistake,” I said, giving the benefit of the doubt and going on to explain.

“What’s the time of purchase on your label?”

“15:15.”

“Come in tomorrow afternoon.”

“I may not be able to come in the afternoon. I have to take a dog to the vet …”

“Come in the morning, then.”

“It might not be the morning …”

“You have to come in! What do you expect me to do over the phone?!”

“I’ll definitely come in. But it’s your error, and I can’t give a precise time. I think it’s likely to be at lunchtime.”

“Come at lunchtime, then, and we’ll sort it out.”

“Will you be there?”

“Yes.”

“What’s your name?”

He told me.

Clive, who listened in, will vouch for the fact that there was not one conciliatory word, let alone an apology however conditional, in the whole conversation.

We noticed subsequently that my till receipt records 14:40 as the time I went through checkout. There’s obviously a time warp in this supermarket.