It isn’t the same every year – I guess it depends on the weather – but some summers we’re plagued with loads of smart, athletic, horrible little fruit flies.

They seem to be everywhere: tickling your legs, zooming past your field of vision, threatening to land on food, crawling up cupboard doors …

They’re total zombies, of course, directed by air currents rising off skin and – as was the case today – off apricot jam. (We’ve just made a second batch.)

The fly zapper

The zapper in the photo doesn’t seem to catch many flies – the sum total of today’s victims can be seen lying at its foot. Perhaps we’re dealing with too street-wise an enemy.

The best method, and at the same time the best relief for irritation and frustration, is to swat them with a folded newspaper.

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